I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
