That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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