I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
