i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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