i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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