i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
