The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
