he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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