Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
