In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She told me I should be a condom model.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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