Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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