Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
