I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
