it hurts more in the daytime
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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