I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
