Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
