we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
