so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize
