So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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