It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
50% drunk capacity currently
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
