I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
