I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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