Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
