I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
