Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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