I molested 6 butterflies tonight
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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