i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
