So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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