k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
