she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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