i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
