If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
