I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
