remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
