There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
