The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
