At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
