Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
