Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
