is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
