Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
