he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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