We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
