When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Boobs speak an international language.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
