highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
