whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
