'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
