Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
