So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
