dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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