Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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